Give....a hand up: A blog to offer a hand up.

Give....a hand up: A blog to offer a hand up.

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Posted here http://mydayandthoughts.blogspot.com/

vacation

For what it is worth, I am back. LOL

Let's see. Saturday. Beautiful day. The sun was shining I was ready and Pat was slow. LOL Packed once then repacked to a lighter bag. Then we were off!

From Blue Ridge vacation

On our way to the Blue Ridge Parkway. 5 days of camping out and riding the motorcycle. We did not make it as far as I hoped the first day. I forgot that Pat was a 5 miler. Go 5 miles and stop. I am just kidding. But I swear that man stopped so many times I was afraid we would not even make it to North Carolina the first day! It was a beautiful ride. We took the scenic route. LOL One of the first places we saw was the Occoe.

From Blue Ridge vacation

Great white water rafting there so I have been told. You would not get me in one of those rafts or a kayak! We saw where the Olympics held the white water events when it was in Atlanta.
Finally we arrived in North Carolina. We passed the road that leads to the Dragon's Tail, US 129. This is a trip we plan in the future. In Andrews, NC we pass a Harley Shop we just had to stop to see. How about that for a bike? Daylight is quickly going and we have miles to go. We get to Bryson City just outside of Cherokee and decided to find a campsite.

From Blue Ridge vacation

There we set up camp and the fun began! LOL As we unpacked we found that 1 small bag had been left out. The one that held our utensils! Luckily that was not too big of a problem. We found a couple forks packed away but no can opener so no chili on the hot dogs. The campground was right on the river.

From Blue Ridge vacation

It was also right on the highway so the sounds of loud motorcycles roared until late at night.
The next morning dawned early. We were up before daylight and started getting breakfast fixed and breaking down camp. Remember I am with pokey. 4 hours later we are on our way. Finally we get on the Parkway!
The mountains are beautiful! I recommend going there at least once in your life. We got to the highest point on the Parkway and had to take our picture!

From Blue Ridge vacation

You cannot not take one there! It was at that stop that we saw a woman with her little dog tucked in too! On a motorcycle! There were lots of bikes and lots of mountains

From Blue Ridge vacation

In Asheville the fun began. Part of the Parkway was closed due to rock slides so we were detoured to the interstate for our next leg of the trip. We were headed to Linville Falls where we were going to stay for a day or 2. This section of the interstate is scary to me. We were going to ride down Black Mountain.

From Blue Ridge vacation

I hate that. It is a steep grade. Lots of wrecks have happened on that mountain.
As it was that was our last ride. Shortly after getting to the bottom Pat pulled over. We had a tire going flat. Sunday, a holiday weekend, on the side of an interstate. Not what I wanted to do! After an hour or so a police officer stopped. It seems someone called in a wreck with dead bodies! Stupid! At that time we were waiting on our ride. We knew we had a long wait! Luckily we had a deck of cards. Pat found out that I am a killer in Gin and poker! LOL What gets me is NO ONE stopped! Seven hours on the side of the road and no one stopped. Also no police other than that first one. I could not believe it. Seven hours and no troupers! The first cop was a city cop! I was disappointed in our fellow bikers. At least 200 went by and no one stopped.
So our trip was cut short and once again a major expense incurred. $300 in gas for the tow home. $200 for a new tire. Ugh . Might be last vacation for a long while!

Gone

We are out of here. Headed out for a 5 day motorcycle ride and camping trip on the Blue Rodge Parkway!!

box head

I need a box for my head. 5 days of hurting is enough. I hate insurance, I hate doctors, I hate anything medical right now. Actually I always had. It is a miracle I got into the medical field to make a living. Stupid.

Last week I was bit by a brown recluse spider. The doctor says that my headache is due to the poison in my system. I wonder. Right about 3 weeks ago I fell off the porch and knocked myself out. He said we will wait and see if the medicine works. Could be dead by then.

Next grip. The medicine he prescribed for me has to be pre approved by insurance company! Here we go again, the insurance company telling Doctors how to do their job.

Next grip. The pharmacy waited until doctor's office was closed before faxing the stuff to the doctor's office and expected me to pay full price for the medicine. So now I STILL do not have the medicine I need.

My legs hurt. It was just 1 leg hurting( was bit on the back of my leg) Tonight both legs hurt. My inguinal lymph nodes are swollen. It feels as if there are bruises on my legs. My legs is swollen. My head hurts. I feel like I am dying.

still going

Like the pink bunny, I am still going and going and going. Somehow I manage to take what life throws at me.

We got the tractor back going again. It does not run great but it goes for awhile anyway. I can handle 30 minutes at a time. If I can do that at least twice a day I will get this place cut in the next 2 weeks. We are in desperate need of rain. The grass is dry and crunchy. Even the weeds are thirsty! You know it is bad when you run over a fire ant hill and it has been abandoned! I have been running over a lot of hills. I keep ducking for fear of getting a bunch of ants thrown on my back by the brush hog.

Life sure can throw curve balls. Good thing, or maybe it is a bad thing, I am good at catching them. I guess if I catch them then maybe nobody else will.

Things with Pat are slowly working themselves out. As for Brook, I get to see her on Tae Kwon Do days. This week she snuck out and we went to the store and ate dinner. I don't think her mama was very happy about that but so what. Brook was willing to take the chance. To0morrow I actually get to take her to the dentist. Poor thing has a tooth coming in wrong. It is busting through the gums above the gumline and the other toth is still there and NOT loose. It looks as if the same thing is about to happen on the other side also.

Pictures. I have none. It seems I have misplaced my cable to download them, AGAIN.

I am working on getting back into the rythmn of things again. I hope to be blogging more and still getting my work done! LOL

So that is it for now. See y'all later.

Riding alone

I wonder why riding the tractor always makes me feel good? It is relaxing for me. Today I got to get out and do some cutting. I did not get to yesterday because silly me left the switch on and drained the battery dead. I finished the front field and started on the side field. That one will be slow cutting. The weeds are taller than the tractor. With the clutch slipping some I cannot take a full 5 foot cut or it will bog down and quit or break a sheer pin. I would like to get it all done before September gets here. The weather starts cooling off again then and grass will grow. It effects how much hay I use in the winter and how soon I start feeding hay. In a good winter I do not have to start feeding hay until late November or December.
I like riding the tractor. You see all kinds of critters. Today all I saw were a few snakes and rats. Who knows what I will see tomorrow. I will take my camera with me tomorrow.

Round Robin Challenge: Night Shots

Same shot taken 2 ways. Trying out new camera on that date.

1st shot: shutter speed 1/3 sec, no flash, A: f2.80 F:8.10mm ISO:400


The second shot has the difference of 1/60 sec for shutter speed, auto fire on flash and ISO of 1600
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dream

I had a bad dream last night. I dreamed I was in a hospital and died... alone. I watched them take me away and no one cried because no one was there. Next thing I am at the funeral home in the casket. I could see myself there in the coffin. There were no flowers. I am in the chapel and no one is there except the funeral home people. I look out into the sanctuary and only 1 person is there and it is me. My ghost was the only one that came to say goodbye.

Wordless Wednesday

lost

Am I living a dream or is it a nightmare? Will I wake up and it will be nothing has happened? I can only hope. But I wonder, is the dream that things will work out? I know I am not the only one that has been thru this but I do feel so alone no matter what anybody says. I have no one here to put their arms around me and tell me I am doing the right thing or the wrong thing.

Life goes on and on

I am not sure how things with Pat will turn out. Someone stated that maybe she does not have as big a pull as I think so because after all, he is still here with me. There is nothing to stop him from leaving or making me leave. So life goes on.
Things have been changing around here in the cat department. Little Bit had her babies inside and they, of course, survived. They are gone now. Brook had both of the babies with her. Susie has been upset quite a bit lately. She lost her babies before due date. Now she is smacking all the cats. She does not want to stay inside anymore. Smokey has become a loving little boy. Well maybe not so little anymore. Tiger , his brother is slowing joining the wild side. Big Yellow is ready to move inside as always. He is starting to take better care of his personal grooming habits lately. Johnny is as quiet as ever. I never see him fighting. The fighters are Blackie and Big Yellow. They are battling for head cat. I have news for them, Buddy is head cat. In case of fire he will be the first out. I like all my cats but I love Buddy.

Life goes on

There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to doubt everything. Both ways save us from thinking.

Alfred Korzybski (1879 - 1950)

Life sure has its own way of thumping you in the head or kicking you in the ass, whichever way you look at it. The twists and turns are almost like riding a bucking horse. One second you think you will last to the bell and the next second you are flying thru the air.
Things seem to be on an even keel here right now. I am pulling myself by the bootstraps and trying to keep the faith. Tomorrow is our 15th anniversary. I don't expect any remembrance of it. Actually, I do expect it but I doubt that it will happen.

I still have a cell phone. I just reactivated my old one. Nothing wrong with it and I can hear it ring, unlike my new one that broke. At least I can hear it when and if someone calls me.
I am proud of myself. I have not had any dirty clothes for 2 weeks now. Every morning and night I put the dirty clothes in the washer. When it is full I start it. I have also been keeping the sink cleared out. Amazing at what you do when you have no one to talk to.What it is is if I leave here, dead or alive, I have decided that no one will be able to say that the house is not clean. I have been working on getting it in order. I need order in my life right now.
Precious is doing good.
Brook is doing good.
I do not think of dying all the time now.

ugh

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What a miserable weekend. I tell you, I have the letter L in big red letters tattooed on my forehead!
Friday things fell apart. For some reason everything I said or did was wrong. That night while burning garbage I fell off the steps and hit my head and bruised my shoulder and head. I think I may have been knocked out for a minute or 2 because the next thing I know is I hear Pat's truck pulling up. He helped me into the house. He said at first he thought I was just pulling something stupid but then saw the broken step.
Saturday started out peaceful enough. It did not take long for an uncomfortable silence to be followed by an uncomfortable roar. What an expensive day. $600 worth of cell phones destroyed. That night to bed with a truce called.
The next day started out fairly well with some remorse. Things were actually looking better, at least sounding better with no phones ringing. Looking out the window I see the horses in the field. Precious is laying down. I looked and felt funny about it in my stomach. I quickly pulled some clothes on and went outside and called the horses. All came except Precious. She was sitting up but making no effort to come to me. I walked out to her and knew(actually I already knew) that she was in trouble. I then knew I was in trouble. The heat index was 104 degrees with actual temperature at 98 degrees. I had just looked at the weather map to check for rain. Anyway, it was bad. She was drenched in sweat. It took a few minutes of urging but she did get up. She walked over and started to lay down again but I knew that she could not do that. I hearded her to the barn and over by the water trough. I then ran out and turned the water on. I ran back in and she was down again. She got up for me with no trouble out of her. I had teh halter o and a rope by then. I hosed her down in hopes that it was simple heat exhaustion. I then led her out of the pasture and up to the hitching post. I ran in the house hollaring at Pat that Precious was down. I needed to put different shoes on because sandels were no good for what I was about to do, walk and walk alot. pat got dressed to come out to help me but I knew he would not be a lot of help. The extreme heat was not good for his asthma. He left to go get help but something happened up there that was not good. After an hour of making Precious walk I finally got some help but not before stepping inbetween a fight. I wanted to knock them both in the head. brook walked with me and it was a good thing. The heat got to me and I went down. Heat exhaustion was getting me and Precious still had not passed gas or poop. Me going down got everybody's attention and I got help. We kept hosing Precious down and finally she took some water. She started passing some gas. 4 hours after the first walking started Precious was trying to eat and was swatting at flies. Crisis averted.
With all that walking and sweating you would think I would have lost weight. NOT. I am at 179 and holding.
Pat and I are working things out. No guareentee of everything working out that we stay together but I am hopeful. Never will it be said I did not give it my best shot. I am hoping he will do the same. I have to trust that he is. Trust is so hard to give once broken but I am trying.

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Velvet Chains

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I have been feeling very blue lately. Life just has not been going the way I thought it would. At age 49 I thought that I would be settled and where I was going to be for the rest of my life. Now I am not sure. Funny how nothing turns out the way you expect. I am working on getting things worked out. I am where I want to be and who I want to be with... but is he? Someone said something to me about velvet chains. I looked up the lyrics to the song as it has been a long time since I have heard it. I know I have been so wrong in so many areas in my life. I know that , I pray that we stay together and finish growing old together.

Velvet Chains

Your velvet chains softly hold me
Keep me from strayin' to another
one's arms
Locked in your love I will remain
I don't want to be free
From your velvet chains

You keep the door wide open
You don't lock me in
I come and go
Your never ask me where I've been
You know I'm faithful
Yes, I'm bound to be
Your lovin' arms
Put these velvet chains on me

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blah

Human beings, by changing the inner attitudes of their minds, can change the outer aspects of their lives.

William James (1842 - 1910)

Today is blah. Been alone all day it seems. Brook is in Florida and I am here all alone. The rest of the week will be like this.

My Buddy thinks he is suppose to lay on the mouse pad in front of the computer when I am online. He is suppose to get all of my attention! LOL

The weekend went mostly good. Friday we rode the bike for a couple hours and headed out to fireworks. We did not stay and just went home. We got to see many firework displays from the house without the smoke.

Saturday evening things started falling apart. Sunday was for the birds. Monday was not much better. Today is better. I know there will be ups and downs. I am counting on more ups than downs.

On a positive note I have lost down from 198 on June 1 to 185 today. I will take whatever small things that I can find in a day.

I have 8 baby chicks running around the yard right now. My little red hen is setting a nest now. I am not sure how many she has under her.

Ok I am out of here right now. I need to get busy. I have a goal to reach with my cleaning and I cannot do it sitting here. Love you all.

Life is better

The first step to getting the things you want out of life is this: Decide what you want.

Ben Stein

Life is better today. Mainly because I decided to fight. I have always kind of laid down the banner so to speak in the past and just gave up. Not so this time. I may not win the war but I have won this battle. I have extreme problems with self confidence and so I always see myself as the loser. Some people will think I am stupid to fight this was but I don't. I know some people are very confused as to what it is I am fighting. If you want to know I will tell you in private.

We may have the problem fixed with the tractor. with one small problem still on going. Cliff might be able to help with this one. What is the best way to fix a small pinhole leak in the gas tank? It is a Farmall Super C.

Gas prices seem to have stabilized around here lately. It has been holding steady at around $3.87 a gallon. I told Pat the other day that I do not believe it will matter who gets in as president the gas prices will not be going down. He goes on that they need to do what they did back in the 70's with the oil embargo. Sure why not, gas prices did not go down then nor will they now. Our dependence on gas has to break. As long as cars get low mileage we are screwed. The American automakers fight raising mandatory higher gas mileage on vehicles. They fight tighter emissions standards, they fight everything. 40 miles per gallon is not unrealistic for them. Lower speed limits work too(and helps in other areas too -accident rates etc.) I also told pat that I believe gas will easily be $7 a gallon by 2010 and 2 days later I read a report where the experts say the same thing. Does that make me an expert or what?
Ok I have to get a load of clothes out of the washer and put it in the dryer. Then start another load.
Life will be good if I have to kill to make it so.

Tags: gas

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

Cats on Tuesday

If you want to see more Cats on Tuesday click cats.

The 2 newest babies around here. One is female, black with a small white star on chest, the other is a gray tiger striped male.